My Story

So I have been asking the members of the facebook page to share their stories, but came to the realization a little while ago that I should really share my story before I am asking that of anyone else. I guess one thing that was holding me back was that others have the option of anonymity, but in order for you to know that it is my story it takes that option away from me. I have always been a pretty open person and wear my emotions on my sleeve, but I guess it is daunting to throw your personal story – especially one that is so personal- out onto the internet for all to see.

My hope is that you find some encouragement from hearing it. My other hope is that you join me in trying to help others reverse the negative words in their past or to encourage young girls who need to know that life is more than just being thin and pretty.

Because I can be wordy, and because my struggle with this issue spans over many years I decided to break it into a few different posts.  Here is the first one:

My Story: The elementary school years

The first time I got called fat I was six.

I started to compare myself to others at that early age, and already started to feel that I was not good enough.

At age eight, a daycare teacher made reference to my weight in a rude way. To hear an adult refer to me in that way was very detrimental. It’s one thing when kids are mean, but as a child we tend to think that adults know everything.

By fifth grade I had heard words like that on several occasions.

One boy who repeatedly made fun of me was the best friend of my best friend’s brother. This meant that we would be often be in the same house or on the same outings, and he never seemed to miss an opportunity to put me down. He would make comments about me popping the tires when I got into the car or causing earthquakes when I walked into the room.

One particular time that I remember quite vividly, the family had a whiteboard in their family room (a room that was two steps down from the kitchen) and I had written “Sarah was here” (why was that a popular thing to say as a kid?) and then he later wrote “so that’s why the floor dropped down two feet!” I was crushed.

I remember a sleepover birthday party that same year where the girls at the party got out the scale and we weighed each other—(why in the world did that sound like a fun idea??) I was mortified that I was the only one who was over 100lbs. Of course my young brain couldn’t reason that I was also the tallest. I somehow seemed to be good friends with all of the shortest girls in class and was a head and shoulders taller than my best friend. No one ever told me that it would make sense for me to weigh more too.

I just interpreted all of that to mean that I was fat. Unacceptable. That there was something wrong with me.

During elementary school I was a good student, I was smart, I made friends fairly easily. I was funny and kind-hearted. At home I would put on plays and shows all the time. I sang and danced everywhere.  I loved animals. I tried to start an “Earth Saving Club” with my cousins. My main plan was to take my cousin’s little red wagon around to collect cans off the street that we could recycle and then I would use that money to save the rainforest. I was very good at drawing for my age. I remember all my friends wanting me to draw them Ariel (Little Mermaid) because that was my specialty. I liked to help younger children and make them smile.

My point is that I don’t think I was aware of any of that, or if I was it didn’t matter because I was not pretty enough and I was not skinny enough. I left elementary school believing that I was not good enough.

I headed into middle school, a time where everyone seems to develop emotional scars, already plenty wounded.

Here is a picture of me on the day of 5th grade graduation. I didn't know if my friend would want her picture on here, so because I am not photoshop savvy to blur just her face I made my best attempt. Sorry JM.

This is the first post in a series about “My Story”.  Join me in spreading the message of inner beauty at www.facebook.com/alightintheheart. If you have a story to share you can email it to alightintheheart@gmail.com.

Operation Beautiful

I came upon this AMAZING website today - operationbeautiful.com. This girl Caitlin started a blog where she posts pictures of post-it notes that people have anonymously written and left random places like bathroom mirrors at school or the gym, etc. I LOVE this idea and how it is encouraging people to reach out to others and to think past outward beauty. Here are a few examples of some of the notes that have been posted:

Definitely take a look at her site! Also, write your own notes and post them around. Be sure to put operationbeautiful.com at the bottom so that others can be directed to this inspirational website. You can send pictures of notes to operationbeautiful@gmail.com.

Whatever you do, just make sure you takes the words in these notes to heart. They are true!

Good Reminders :)

Ribbons!!

Send an email to alightintheheart@gmail.com​ if you would like a ribbon (*free*) sent to you. Let me know how many and what color! As of now we have (in order of appearance) pink zebra, glitterific, think pink, cherry, fire, sunshine, gold, princess, springtime, dino green, clear water, cerulean, plum, bedazzled, I love lucy, and damask

Wear them on your backpack, purse, diaper bag, gym bag, etc. Send a picture of where you put yours!!

The Cause

“Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart” and we need to let everyone have an equal chance to shine.

In high school I tried to start what I guess you could call a campaign about focusing on inner beauty rather than outward appearance.  I continued it into college but life got busy and I abandoned it.  It was brought to my attention the other day and my passion for spreading this message was reignited.

Women/girls of all ages struggle with their appearance and accepting themselves for who they are and many (too many) do destructive things to their bodies in the name of becoming more attractive.  I think it is important for the female population, especially girls in elementary through high school, to be reminded of importance of inner beauty and to be encouraged to accept themselves for who they are rather than tearing themselves apart because they do not look like a model in a fashion magazine. Girls, and everyone for that matter, also need to be taught not to judge others by their appearance and to be careful about the comments they make because they can scar others for a lifetime.

To spread this message in the past I passed out sheer blue ribbons.  The color was not of importance (probably because it was my favorite at the time) but because the see through ribbon was supposed to remind people to see through other’s outward appearance into who they really are.  

To spread this message I am asking you to 1) encourage a friend, daughter, sister, mother, student, etc. about what makes them beautiful to you and be on the lookout for girls around you who need to hear this message before it’s too late. 2) Get a ribbon (you can email me your address to alightintheheart@gmail.com and I will send you one or several for you and your friends. We can convo about colors then. Or you can buy your own sheer ribbon (any color this time to represent the individuality in all of us) at any craft store. Wear this ribbon on your backpack, purse, diaper bag, gym bag, put it on your fridge or somewhere in your car – anywhere that will remind you that you are beautiful and to find the beauty in others! 3) Spread the word. Tell your friends and family and give them a ribbon as well!

Also, become a fan on facebook -A Light In The Heart on Facebook to find encouragement and further spread the message!

Please email me with any encouraging stories, quotes, pictures, videos, etc. or pictures of you and friends with your ribbons or creative ways you have worn/used your ribbon that you would like add to the blog!

**Guys can certainly join in this effort too!! I know that they also can struggle with appearance and you can definitely join in encouraging the women around you and being mindful of how you judge/speak to girls.

Remember to just be you – no one is better at that than you are! :) Cheesy yes, but true.